Life without the laptop
09/18/06
Yeah, still fretting at how unsatisfactory this arrangement is. I’d love to be sitting and typing in my easy chair, and able to get information at the click of a button if I need a word defined or want to check a reference.
Worse, there is the possibility that Connor may insist on coming home. Says his throat hurts. I already had to drive over there to give him some medicine, and since the school secretary doesn’t have any forms for me to sign that clear his self-administering medication, I wasn’t able to leave it there. So, it’s a matter of waiting for the other shoe to drop right now.
A good thing is that guys are here digging and pouring the footings for the new deck, so a project that’s been stalled so long is getting started at last. We’ve gone nearly a year without one.
Later
Awwwwww FUCK! My fucking kid’s home, I had to go get him from school because his fucking eye hurt or his fucking throat. So I got him and he’s been nothing but attention demanding, and behaving like a real JERK because he’s having trouble with his homework, yet when he asks me to help him he then throws it back into my face, and in addition says that I think he’s stupid and says that I’ve said it. No, he may not be stupid, but he is behaving like a little asshole. He just told me to kiss his ass and I marched him into the bedroom. Christ, I hate children.
Little later yet. Connor and I got things calmed down; both boys home watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos” so I’ve bought a little peace…except for them saying, “Look! Look Mom! Oh, Mom you gotta see this! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!” Like a pin jabbing and deflating my attention. I feel so behind in the news analysis, like I’ll never catch up. My ipod won’t sync up with the PC unless I wipe it clean, which I’m not quite ready to do. So I can’t download anything that wasn’t already in my ipod. So yet another obstacle in the way I want to go. Connor is so funny. He insists that I answer him or respond to him even in areas that to me don’t require a response. For example there was a video of a child answering questions, and Connor said, “That child was really smart.” I said, “How old is he?” And Connor said, “I think he’s one.” And then when I didn’t respond, said, “I think he’s one.” He just can’t let it go. It contributes to my feeling harried, this continual need for response.
So I just found an article in a very conservative website ‘newspaper’. It is the first of the phase 2 results from the commission that is studying the use of intelligence in the lead-up to the Iraq war. This part is delving into the issue whether intelligence was manipulated by the White House to mislead Americans into supporting invading Iraq. This particular portion of phase 2 still doesn’t address that issue, but does conclude that there was no evidence that Iraq had ties with and collaboration with Al Quaida. This is a commission, I think from the Senate Intelligence Committee, and it’s made up with at least equal membership from each party. So it seems the Republican members would be interested in drowning out any information that could cast a negative light on the President. So if a commission that’s headed by a Committee that has republican dominance makes those statements, it seems hard for me to believe that this is a false report. However, there’s a guy on The Weekly Standard, Stephen Hayes, I think, who devotes two l-o-o-ong pages to making a case that there were, too, cooperative ties between Iraq and Al Quaida. So I’d like to read him, but my heart sinks a little because it clearly won’t be easy reading. Lots of unfamiliar Arabic names and personalities to keep track of in listening to this guy’s case, in order to be fair. What seems true though is that there really are parallel news streams, each of which is supporting the views of either the conservative side, or the liberal side. And that seems…disquieting. How on earth can I be reading both? Or keeping up with both? Like I said, I want to read this article about the commission’s report on pre-war intelligence, but it’s so hard with the boys home again. I’ve been reading the Cobra II book, which traces the path the administration took to war, and in particular looks at the planning of what happens AFTER Saddam Hussein was toppled.
Well, Connor and I had our breakthrough and got to the other side where we’re better again.
*9/19/06*
Whew. They just left. The house rings with silence, in stark contrast with the sound of both boys’ voices, telling me about episodes on ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’. They don’t realize that their recounting doesn’t express what they remember because they have the image firmly in their minds—but there are gaps to the person receiving. Especially Scott, and so I’m required to listen closely as he gets started, then loses his way and has to start over again, then again. And again.
Bless their hearts. I love them so much. Connor surprised me this morning with a kiss on my lips, and then another on my cheek. He’d stopped kissing me back when he was six and wouldn’t allow me to kiss him. Til about a year ago, then I was permitted to kiss him again. So I’m delighted to have him kissing me again, because I know it probably won’t last long. Scott I can still kiss as much as I want, and sometimes I feel it’s too much of a good thing. Like he frequently wants to put his arms around me and kiss my stomach at inconvenient times—for example when I’m cooking.
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